By Dolores J. Kirk adapted by Susan Hopkins

The Peace Table, a method of conflict resolution through mediation with young children, is one of many ways to take peace making from the abstract to the concrete.  Problem-solving, compromising, and thinking through alternatives are learned skills.  As teachers and parents, we must find ways to give children the opportunity to experience the process, be responsible for their actions, and to be a part of the solution.

WHY

There is a need for children to learn problem-solving and alternatives to fighting in their lives, from the earliest age possible.  Authoritarian methods keep all power, decisions, and enforcement in the hands of adults.

PURPOSE

To have children view the Peace Table as an opportunity for them to be heard and understood within the process of problem solving.  If this method is used for punishment it cannot work.  If it is used by adults to impose limits on behavior, it has lost its purpose.  The most difficult aspect of the Peace Table process is relinquishing adult power.  The Peace Table can become the most freeing experience that can happen for you as a teacher or parent.

WHEN TO USE THE PEACE TABLE

If there is a problem to be solved between or among people and a mediator can be helpful, then Peace Table may be an appropriate strategy.  Time must be available.  If the situation calls for limit setting or consequences due to safety or respect concerns, Peace Table is not the appropriate strategy.  Peace Table is not to be confused with punishment such as “Time Out.”

THE ONLY RULES

Each person touches the table to talk, teachers and parents, too!  (Children love it when adults must touch the table.)  This gives structure and control to the process.  If someone says something which has already been said, ask to hear that person’s special ideas.  We want to encourage lots of thoughts and ideas to be expressed.

HOW

*Any table or designated spot, e.g., rock. leaf, handkerchief, can be a Peace Table;

*Any place and any time;

*Adult acts as the facilitator/moderator;

*Children involved in the conflict come to the Peace Table and tell what happened from their point of view.  Use of a “Go Around” structure works well to hear from everyone.  If invited, anyone in the larger group can add to the presenting of the problem;

*After the problem has been stated from all points of view, the children of the group are asked to give alternatives on how the problem could have been solved;

*At this time, the Adult/Facilitator needs to accept only real solutions or alternatives, e.g., child says,   “They should be nice to each other.”   Adult/Facilitator, “How could they do that?”

*Adult/Facilitator restates the alternatives, but never declares which option they should take, or what to do; Adult/Facilitator never asks them to say they are sorry, or force adult solutions on them;

*If an audience gathers, ask Peace table problem solvers if they feel comfortable with others listening;

 

TIME AND COMMITMENT

Approximately ten minutes, depending on the attention span of the children.  Some adults may object to stopping activities and calling the group together for a Peace Table because of schedules and time.  To make peace a part of children’s lives, both a commitment to the concept, and a willingness to invest what is necessary to build successful practice are essential.

 

CAUTIONS IN USING THE PEACE TABLE

PEACE TABLE IS:

*A method to help people work through problems in a focused, structured way.

*A mediation opportunity to support problem solving.

*A shared power method in which everyone can be heard, respected, and share equally in the solution to a common problem.

 

PEACE TABLE IS NOT:

*Punishment for children who do something wrong, like “Time Out.”

*A strategy for adults to get children to figure out what the adults want children to do.

*A way to manipulate children’s behavior by adults.

*A way to set limits on behavior.

*A consequence to inappropriate behavior.

 

NOTE

I have used the Peace Table and other methods of teaching peace in my classroom for over five years.   After the first of the school year, children call for Peace Table themselves.

 

Adapted and used by permission:  Discover the World:  Empowering Children to Value Themselves, Other and the Earth, edited by Hopkins and Winters.